Impossible Virtue

by Spirit Waves

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about

"hi guys! spirit waves here to announce my 7th record, IMPOSSIBLE VIRTUE, which will be available on april 15th on the visual disturbances bandcamp, spotify, amazon music, itunes, tidal, etc.. this album is compiled of little tracks that came about here and there during the aftermath of NO HOME, as well as a few fragments from many years ago, and represents a more jealous, angry, bitter side of myself in relation to certain unfortunate happenings in my personal life. i'm not going to lie, i genuinely feel terrible about the lyrics of a few of these tracks, but that's just the nature of temporal emotion, and i think it is healthy and important to explore these parts of ourselves within our art, even if we really, really can't stand them.

i'm debuting the track BEADED today, which i hope is a good little teaser to get you excited for the album. the album itself isn't as epic or sprawling as the two other albums that i consider my 'major' albums, she made me want to vanish. and NO HOME, but it is certainly a fantastic experience and uses its shorter runtime to great effect. i am currently hard at work on another record as well as preparations for a tour that should be going on in june/july, so stay tuned! i love you guys, and can't wait for you to hear this record! thanks for all the support.

much love,
otto william peyer iv aka SPIRIT WAVES
xoxo <3"

credits

released April 15, 2016

[VD033]

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Track Name: Goes Out to You
this one goes out to you
and you and you and you
Track Name: Solid State
i love you
i love me
i love you
Track Name: Fireflies
i love you so much
that i want you to hurt me
a flare's gone off so
i'm getting off
to a favorite sensation
i don't care what you become
i don't care what becomes of you
i don't care where you cum

i hear firefights
out in the beyond
yeah i see fireflies
in my room
i hear firefights
out in the beyond
i see fireflies
in my room

a miracle that's gonna save us
well i guess we all want to believe
that all of our fiction can
just turn to our fate
wait wait wait wait
it's not too late
in the real world they fall apart
nothin ever works itself out
Track Name: Beaded
you might as well just hate me
my intentions were fucked from the start
a drunken cupid sorely missing
every arrow aimed at your desperate heart
and me i saw you as a light that
might illuminate the darkest dark but
tunnel vision takes over
i don't think that i could ever be the
deeply ingrained subcutaneous artifact
that you are to me

i try to dig it out
i just dig deeper
when will you come to bury me whole?

i can try to dig it out
i just dig myself deeper
a hemorrhage that i once called home
just a hemorrhage that i once called home

and maybe we just got off
on the wrong foot
you know a missed platform
could be a fresh start

our beaded neckties will make sure
that we hang together
and our mutual friends will there
to sing at our funerals
as our hands left the railing
we realized that we never wanted to die, but
at least we still went out
as the perfect partners in crime
Track Name: Strings
there was a string that tied us together
the tension tight as we pushed away, so
i sharpened my razors i licked my teeth
i shed my skin and i braced myself, but
in the end i will always step back
i never wanted to cut it
or tie another string
i don't trust anyone else
you don't know what i'd do for you
and you'll never know

i'm an avenue you'll never cross
i'm wanting different things
i'm just an insane weirdo
you're insanely weird though
i'll miss you more
every time i sing this song
but you cannot hurt me
you cannot hurt me anymore
you will never hurt or see me again

a thousand blows and i'll take
every one of them right now
but you will never hurt me again
so the string that tied us
is severed and the arteries
are bleeding out and ripped to shreds

and i'll try to forget you
someday i'll try to remember
but hopefully i won't forget
why i fled i needed love
i needed something
you've always had it in abundance
but never from the ones you wanted
you're spoiled rotten

never from the ones with power
and bitterly, i pontificate
someday i'll be like them
and you will still have nothing
fucked up and alone, you'll regret it
i'll make sure you regret it

bitterly, i pontificate
someday i'll be just like them
you always said don't forget about me
well you should have thought of that
before you forgot me
Track Name: 1 Txt Lvl
you showed him snow
before you showed me love
now it's cold there
and you want me to come
but i know there's something fishy
sinister and frozen in the water

i just wish that you believed in me
the same way that i've always believed in you
i just wish that i could keep you warm

it seems like he gave you
a puffy jacket full of ice cubes
all wet and all alone
and he never picks up his phone

not a text message sent
no words said yet
nothin set
you think he loves you
but you're on your own
Track Name: Anger Song
the actus reus of envying
a jealousy that consumes me whole
please believe me i never wanted to hate you
i was just trying to find a home
i've loved you for two years now
i don't know how it's stayed this way
but the words i breathe won't utter
anything that breaches your contract
i know what i can't say
i never wanted to harm you in any little way
i never wanted you as an enemy

the relationship between you and me has soured
the relationship between you and me is poisoned
and i'm not the one who poisoned the well
you've always acted so oblivious but
i know that you can tell
what kind of damage you've done

this is the song that takes everything out of me
every drop of blood and bead of sweat in my body
drain myself and slip it all in my pen
i'll write my songs and you'll never see me again
it's the only way that you'll ever listen
to anything that i say

there's a pressure strong from each and every
one of my friends and they all want me to
call this miserable thing to its end and
when it's finally dead
their presence strong, i can stand
with the lessons learned
i may live to walk again

two damn years of pushing and pulling away
two goddamn years of millions of words
typed with nothing to say
two fucking years of being the
shoulder that you leaned on
two thankless years of pain that
i apparently only bring upon myself

people see the shit that i go through
and they all tell me to get the fuck away from you
i laid in your bed and i sucked your pretty cock
but i guess that those are just the magic words
for me to not be allowed to say

so i'll just scream them
i know you know what i mean
you can't keep me silent
i know the things i've seen

i wish you could beat me to a pulp
and put me in my place
i want to see the anger
on your pretty fucked up face

the self-loathing tied to you
what a goddamn addiction
i feel it taking over
such an impossible prediction
another week where you don't talk to me
another incision
another lover who doesn't love you
out of my jurisdiction
i mention how we touched each other
and you just call it fiction
i mentioned how we touched each other
and you call it fiction
tell me i'm schizophrenic
what a contradiction
tell me to go get help
and now i'm evicted
i mention how we touched each other
and you just call it fiction
i mention how we touched each other
and you just call it fiction
i mention how we touched each other
and you just call it fiction
i mention how we touched each other
and you just call it fiction

i still love you with all of my heart
every single beat is for you
Track Name: Brother
i know you
because i used to be you
i said all the same impulsive
ridiculous shit that you do
and i hate you
because your cynicism never helps
but i love you
cause you're my friend

at some point you've gotta accept that
you've still got to live
in this fucked up, fucked up world
at some point you're gonna find
that there's nothing you can give
that'll make all the bad guys go away
there's no one you can count upon
and being so god damn contrarian
will never help you to carry on
i'm not trying to say to be a coward
i'm just saying that life is cruel
and no one wants to be taken for a fool
no one has ever wanted to be somebody else's fool

saw you in the mirror
staring back in wonder
and i smashed you
bits of broken glass
in my clenched fists
i despise you
your syllogisms are flawed by default
but i love you
and you are like a brother to me

and it hurts
but i'll survive
my heart will stop
but i'll still be alive
and it'll hurt
for a while
for as long as you
get to smile